Posts Tagged ‘funny’

Fishbowl America Round-Up for July 8, 2008.

Fishbowl America Round-Up for July 5th through July 6th:

  • Tablet ignites debate on messiah and resurrection – A three-foot-tall tablet with 87 lines of Hebrew that scholars believe dates from the decades just before the birth of Jesus is causing a quiet stir in biblical and archaeological circles, especially because it may speak of a messiah who will rise from the dead after three days.
  • The United States of Fat – CalorieLab has out their annual “fattest States” and it’s no surprise. Folks just keep getting fatter, so much so that they had to change the categories slightly so it wasn’t a wash of red, fat, states.
  • Israel weighs Jerusalem separation – Israel should cut off outlying Arab neighborhoods from Jerusalem, Deputy Prime Minister Haim Ramon demanded Thursday, a day after a Palestinian construction worker from one of those districts went on a deadly rampage in the city center.

OMG. Just. OMG.

Me thinks he did.

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Colbert

AP: With a bruised forehead, Stephen Colbert has found a new cause célèbre: fighting the glamorization of “face violence.”

As he did after breaking his wrist last year, Colbert has transformed a real-life injury into a mock crusade. Colbert was injured Saturday, and while he’s been cagey about the cause, he’s made no attempt to hide the scarring between his eyebrows this week on “The Colbert Report.”

In extreme close-up Monday, he detailed the wreckage: “What the hell is going on right here? What the hell did I do to myself on Saturday? I’ve got stitches up there, and it looks like I’m growing a little map of Norway down the side of my face.”

Colbert has declined to say how the injury happened. (His publicist and Comedy Central also declined to comment.) Instead, he has said what’s important is his new responsibility to fight “face violence” in Hollywood films.

In June 2007, Colbert broke his wrist while running around his set before the taping of a show. The comedian went on to wage a months-long fight for “wrist awareness” and widely circulated “WristStrong” bracelets for the cause. (Proceeds for the $1 bracelets have gone to the Yellow Ribbon Fund, a charity that assists injured service members and their families.)

This week, Colbert has joked that after the wrist injury, he pledged he would never break a fall with his hands.

Tuesday’s guest, Will Smith, had a theory: “I think I know what happened to your face, ’cause I can tell. Somebody kicked your ass, didn’t they?”

Colbert has claimed it could have happened by smashing watermelons with his head or by “practicing for a walk-on role in Cirque du Soleil and overestimating the number of French Canadians my forehead would support.”

This hilarious Madonna spoof aired Wednesday on Comedy Central’s The Colbert Report, as part of Stephen Colbert’s John McCain Green Screen Challenge.

more about “The Gray Ambition Tour“, posted with vodpod

Wow. It’s been how long since Ellen DeGeneres has her primetime ABC comedy “Ellen”… and I completely forgot about the fact that Oprah interviewed her. Oy vey. But it still speaks to the heart.

more about “Ellen DeGeneres Discusses Coming Out …“, posted with vodpod

I feel like I need to bathe, or maybe gouge my eyes out.

Play video

TMZ: Yes, that’s Mini-Me Verne Troyer in a sex tape shot with his former live-in girlfriend at the couple’s apartment. A third party has snatched up the tape and although no deal has been made, we hear dealer Kevin Blatt, who brokered the deal for Paris’ video, is entertaining a $100k offer from SugarDVD to distribute the nastiness. We would have thought the tape was worth at least ONE BILLION DOLLARS.

A rep for Troyer could not be reached for comment.

PageOneQ: A satirical Stephen Colbert gave his ‘wag of the finger’ to California, whose Supreme Court ruled in favor of marriage equality on May 15.

“Well, it’s not enough that Californians are attacking straight marriage,” Colbert scolded, “now they’re preying on the elderly.”

Del Martin and Phyllis Lyon, co-founders of premier lesbian organization Daughters of Bilitis in 1955, were the first couple to be married in San Francisco on June 16, after being in a committed relationship for 55 years, as the Supreme Court’s ruling took effect. Earlier, they were among those that received marriage licenses in 2004, due to the historic act of civil disobedience by San Francisco mayor Gavin Newsom, in which he ordered City Hall to issue the licenses to gay couples who requested them.

Quips Colbert: “Shame on you, California, for turning these two sweet old roommates gay!”

More can be viewed below, as aired on Comedy Central’s The Colbert Report on June 23, 2008:

more about “Colbert: California Marriage Pioneers…“, posted with vodpod

PageOneQ: A satirical Stephen Colbert gave his ‘wag of the finger’ to California, whose Supreme Court ruled in favor of marriage equality on May 15.

“Well, it’s not enough that Californians are attacking straight marriage,” Colbert scolded, “now they’re preying on the elderly.”

Del Martin and Phyllis Lyon, co-founders of premier lesbian organization Daughters of Bilitis in 1955, were the first couple to be married in San Francisco on June 16, after being in a committed relationship for 55 years, as the Supreme Court’s ruling took effect. Earlier, they were among those that received marriage licenses in 2004, due to the historic act of civil disobedience by San Francisco mayor Gavin Newsom, in which he ordered City Hall to issue the licenses to gay couples who requested them.

Quips Colbert: “Shame on you, California, for turning these two sweet old roommates gay!”

More can be viewed below, as aired on Comedy Central’s The Colbert Report on June 23, 2008:

more about “Colbert: California Marriage Pioneers…“, posted with vodpod

more about “Video: Ellen Gets Her Emmy“, posted with vodpod

It was comedian George Carlin’s Seven Words routine (i.e. the seven words the FCC forbids to be said over the airwaves) that cemented Carlin’s counterculture genius. Foul-mouthed and unapologetic, he was one of the greats, and will be sorely missed. Check out the bit that got him famous…

It was comedian George Carlin’s Seven Words routine (i.e. the seven words the FCC forbids to be said over the airwaves) that cemented Carlin’s counterculture genius. Foul-mouthed and unapologetic, he was one of the greats, and will be sorely missed. Check out the bit that got him famous…

Reuters: Comedian George Carlin, a counter-culture hero famed for his routines about drugs and dirty words, died of heart failure at a Los Angeles-area hospital on Sunday, a spokesman said. He was 71.

Carlin, who had a history of heart and drug-dependency problems, died at Saint John’s Health Center in Santa Monica about 6 p.m. PDT (9 p.m. EDT) after being admitted earlier in the afternoon for chest pains, spokesman Jeff Abraham told Reuters.

Known for his edgy, provocative material, Carlin achieved status as an anti-Establishment icon in the 1970s with stand-up bits full of drug references and a routine called “Seven Words You Can Never Say On Television.” A regulatory battle over a radio broadcast of the routine ultimately reached the U.S. Supreme Court.In the 1978 case, Federal Communications Commission vs. Pacifica Foundation, the top U.S. court ruled that the words cited in Carlin’s routine were indecent, and that the government’s broadcast regulator could ban them from being aired at times when children might be listening.

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For a better version, please go to my other blog, fishbowlAMERICA to see Luke Russert’s eulogy in its entirety. And don’t forget to bookmark me, and please comment. – Best, Benji @ fishbowlAMERICA.

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more about “Jon Stewart On California Gay Marriage“, posted with vodpod

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more about “McCain As Creepy Husband On SNL“, posted with vodpod